Tag: living in the moment

In the Moment

~ Crystal Sands ~ 2 Comments

Day 5 of 21

Since I have cut back on my work, I have had time to help more in the garden this year, and it has been wonderful to me. The garden is good for my soul. When I am out there with the sun over my head and the earth in my hands, I feel restored. I think I love the work so much because it feels so meaningful to me.

Today, I fertilized the raspberries and older blueberry bushes and watered the rows of carrots and kale Ron and I planted last week. I learned the hard way that carrots need a decent amount of water to sprout and get going. I also fixed one of my homemade hanging baskets and spent a little time making sure Ruby had eaten something. She never drank, but I assume she knows what she’s doing.

I got the rest of the chickens fresh water and then just sat with them for the longest time. It’s been awhile since I have done this for so long, and it was magnificent. The sky was so blue, and though the wind is bad for the garden, it’s great for keeping the black flies away. And everything is in bloom and so beautiful. My Maple trees, the pear tree flowers, the blueberry blossoms.

The chickens are beautiful too. We have some gorgeous birds, like Rooster and Faure, and little Bianca is such a treat to watch. I decided to call all of their names, at least the ones who were near me, to see who knew their names. None of the younger chickens know their names, but all of the older ones do. I suppose it takes a bit for them to learn their names around here.

My heart smiled so big thinking about Rooster still being here and looking pretty good for an old guy. He’s gorgeous in the sunlight. The black feathers shimmer green. His long tail feathers whip in the wind.

As I watched the chickens doing all of their different things in the warmth of the beautiful afternoon–digging, eating (Arwen landed a giant worm was being chased by Saint Saens and Hector), sunbathing, drinking from the fresh water because fresh is always exciting–I thought, “This must be heaven.”

I asked the chickens if they knew this was heaven. They didn’t answer, but I think they know.

In the Moment

~ Crystal Sands ~ Leave a comment

Day 115 of 365

I’m still riding my bike. I still love it. I’ve finally gotten over most of the soreness, though we did a big ride today in the city forest, and I’m a bit sore. I have been thinking a lot about why I love riding this bike so much, and I think I figured it out. I think, when I am on my bike, I am in the moment.

Living in the moment is a big struggle to me. In fact, I almost never live in the moment. I have tried and tried to train myself. I don’t want to be this way–always in my head worrying about the future or fretting about something in the past. I really want to live in the moment much more, but I have not had good success with strategies I have tried. I have tried meditation, and it helped some; still, my habits are deeply, deeply ingrained. I don’t know for sure, but I often wonder if my habits stem from some childhood trauma. Maybe it was necessary for me to not live in the moment???

Whatever the reason, my inability to live in the moment has become pretty exhausting to me in my life, and there are very few things that help me. Music helps me. Hard homestead work helps me. I am surprised by how much bike riding helps me.

I told Ron I think part of it is that the bike riding forces me to live in the moment because it’s so hard for me. We have mountain bikes and do trails with roots and rocks and all kinds of bumps. I am so low skilled at bike riding, and a good bit of the time on my bike, I am focusing on staying alive. Ron is adept at his bike. He rides it like a kid. Me, not so much. I have to work pretty hard on hills and tough trails to stay steady. This sounds like it would be terrible, but it’s not so much. It’s so great to NOT be in my head, and I’m getting a little better at riding, which helps.

And, then, there’s the downhill or the flat roads–and the nature. When the ride is smooth and I can look around, I love being on the bike. In the city forest, the trees are beautiful, and right now, it’s just almost fall. You can feel it in the air. The light is different. Seeing that light as the trees fly by is so joyful to me. And speaking of joy, downhill is the best (I mean, as long as it’s not too steep). When I am flying down a hill and the wind is in my face, I am reminded of the joy I felt when I was a little kid and first learned how to ride my bike and go fast down the hills.

For someone who really struggles to live in the moment, I am so thankful for this kind of joy. I had no idea it could come from riding a bike.