The Misfits (or the Beautiful Diversity in Nature)

~ Crystal Sands ~ 6 Comments

I have a carton of eggs that I keep in the refrigerator just for us. I labeled the carton “The Misfits.” These are the eggs that come out very small or unusually large or with a strange shape or maybe they are a pale color and the poop stains the shell even after I wash them. I have often thought about how much I love these “misfits.”

They are not the perfect eggs from our flock in dark brown or light cream or blue-green with a beautiful shape, so I don’t put them in the egg cartons that I sell to our egg customers. I have the idea that people wouldn’t want to pay for the “misfits” because they are not perfectly-shaped like the ones in the grocery store. They are so beautiful to me, but I have always loved the misfits.

But lately I have been thinking about how the perfect eggs are a big lie. They are simply a lie told to us by a food system that keeps us detached from the reality of our food and where it comes from. And I feel that lie is a part of an even bigger lie about the uniformity of nature. It’s one Americans have told themselves so powerfully and so often that we can’t see the beauty in the diversity in the nature we are a part of.

Nature is beautiful in its diversity. Not all eggs are perfectly egg shaped. From our flock, we get round eggs, pointy eggs, skinny eggs, and we have one hen who just lays the tiniest little egg all the time. Sometimes, there are big eggs with double yolks. A couple of times we had an egg with a shell inside of an egg. It’s all fantastic and interesting. The egg companies take their “misfits” and use them in other products, so people who only get eggs in the grocery store never get to see the beauty in all that diversity. Oh, we miss so much!

When I researched to see what the egg companies did with their oddly-shaped eggs, I read that some people are scared to eat eggs that are oddly shaped. It’s so interesting to me that we are scared of what is different. I guess I can see a human needing to be wary of anything different, as you wouldn’t want to eat a bad egg, but we definitely need education because it’s not necessary to fear something just because it is different.

With all this in my mind, I decided last week to put some of my misfits into the egg cartons for the egg customers. It was just a couple of eggs in the 18 pack but hopefully enough to remind the wonderful humans who buy our eggs that not all eggs are the same size and shape. Goodness comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

Eggs are everything, are they not?

Turkey Time and Other Updates

~ Crystal Sands ~ 5 Comments

It’s been a little chaotic on our little homestead the past few weeks. It is mostly related to my turkeys. I don’t know if all turkeys are like this, but my turkeys are mama’s babies and demand a lot of time and attention. They are magnificent and beautiful and so smart, but they are also a challenge. I spend a good bit of time every day having “turkey time.”

They are big enough to spend time outside during the day, outside of their brooder, but they don’t want to be out there by themselves. So I have to sit out there with them for hours. I have much work to do, so I usually sit on a tree stump and grade papers while the turkeys fly around and do their turkey thing. Sometimes, they fly on my head. Sometimes, they get into my lap. Mostly, they just run around and scratch and eat bugs, but as soon as I try to leave, they run after me and then sit at the fence and cry. And cry. And then cry some more.

Ron cannot hear it. It’s too high pitched for his old ears, but mine are not old enough yet, which means I hear it all, feel like a terrible turkey mama,, which I totally am, and then head back outside with my laptop and sit on the hard tree stump to do my work. My tailbone is very sore.

I put them to bed early tonight. My son said, “You’re putting them to bed? It’s only 6:30!”

I said, “Shh. Don’t tell them what time it is.”

And I put them back in the brooder box and told them mama was getting some alone time.

So I get to write this evening.

I hope you are all doing well. There is so much going on. I’m worried about our food supply without proper safety inspections. Are any of you worried about this as well? We grow a lot of our food, but I still rely on the grocery store for quite a few things. I hate the thought of our food getting less safe. I mean, it’s already not great.

Ron and I are keeping up with things but just barely. Poor Ron is still planting and being bitten by black flies, but I think he’s nearing the end. He’s moving the tomatoes from the planters he started the seeds in to the garden today. When he gets to the tomatoes and peppers, he’s getting close to done. I hope he can rest a little. He’s tired too. We both have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.

I made the first round of rhubarb jelly, and I took pictures of the process so I can share the recipe with you. The jelly is already almost gone because we all love it. It’s beautiful jelly.

I will share my pictures and recipe tomorrow–if my turkeys will allow it.

After the Rain

~ Crystal Sands ~ 1 Comment

Spring is keeping us busy. Ron is planting. I am raising baby turkeys, pruning fruit trees, and keeping a young cellist on track with a very busy May schedule. I have found that December and May are the two busiest months in my son’s musician life, but I think Mays are the busiest. It’s a very good busy, though. All of these performances are giving him such good experiences, and of course, even though I am constantly planning travel, food, water, and wardrobe, I am rewarded for my efforts with beautiful music. It has been a good spring.

Last week, it was a bit hot, and I am thankful that it cooled down. Yesterday it rained. It has been a pretty wet spring, which means tons of black flies and mosquitos (it has been one of the worst years I have ever seen for the black flies), but the garden is very, very happy. So far, Ron has planted peas, potatoes, lettuce, onions, spinach, beets, kohlrabi, and he has all the tomatoes, peppers, and melons started in the house. He has been so busy. I have felt badly for him planting out amongst those epic black flies. I am covered in bites just from my limited time pruning trees and such. I don’t even know how he stands to stay out there some days, but stand it he does.

And the garden is looking beautiful.

And speaking of beautiful, yesterday, after the rain, I got some great pictures of the fruit trees and of Ruby. By the way, we let the ducks come over and hang out with the chickens last week, but the ducks kind of bullied the chickens–except Ruby. I was talking over the fence with my neighbor when I heard a commotion. I looked over, and Ruby had had enough with being bullied. She was throwing down with the ducks!

Before I could get there, she had won, and the ducks moved on. I have no words for how much I admire that hen.

Here are some lovely photos from after the rain yesterday.

pear blossoms
Ruby under pear blossoms, being magnificent
Anna Maria in the front
cherry blossoms
apple blossoms

Just this sweet little turkey…

~ Crystal Sands ~ Leave a comment

I now have eight little turkeys to mother. The other nine are with fantastic parents. I will write more about this journey so far later in the week, but I just had to write quickly tonight because we had our first field trip outside today. I hope to have the video to share soon, but I do have this picture. This one is a girl, I am pretty sure–at least I hope–because she’s the biggest mama’s baby. She comes up to me when everyone else is playing and just wants to be held. She’s working hard in this picture. I think she got a bug!

Oh, my heart. I needed some babies. I haven’t had time to read the news in two days.

Fifty trips around the sun

~ Crystal Sands ~ 4 Comments

Yesterday was my birthday, but I learned from a dear astrologer friend that my actual birthday, according to official trips around the sun from the moment I was born was May 8 at 7:12 PM Eastern Time. This helped me not take yesterday so personally because I had the worst birthday I can remember. It was so bad, by last night, when I was blowing at the candles on the birthday cake that Ron, Ronan, and I made together throughout the day, I was afraid I was going to catch my hair on fire!

Thankfully, I didn’t. I lived and am here to live and love another day. I had hoped to write something profound and beautiful in the blog for my birthday. Something hopeful in dark times. Something about the perspective I have gained after fifty years of living on this planet amongst people, the other animals, the trees, the bees, and so on. But I could only just kind of hang on for dear life and try to get through.

And, somehow, right now, maybe that’s all some of us can do.

I won’t go into details, but the day started with Ron being a bear, me being mad that he was being a bear on my birthday, and then it ended with me injuring myself pretty significantly with the mixer while I tried to make the frosting for my own birthday cake. Along the way, there were strange encounters, bad news about one of my jobs, Boudica actually got outside of our fence when our neighbor accidentally didn’t close the gate, and I spoke to my father for the first time in a year. His life has fallen completely apart in the last few months, and my heart breaks for him, even though we are not close at all.

I’m so glad my birthday is over. There were bright spots. I got to have lunch with my wonderful daughter, and Ron and Ronan and Boudica (Boudica sings) all sang happy birthday to me late at night with a beautiful homemade cake with strawberry frosting, but mostly, I was feeling pretty worried about safety by the end of the day. I kept dropping things, falling, and, of course, the big injury with the mixer. Thankfully, no bones were broken, and I ended the day with only a broken heart.

Ultimately, the day felt like a good lesson for me. Times can be really tough and maybe a little scary, but we have to keep trying, keep hoping, and keep loving those around us.

Oh, and I have a turkey update! Somehow, 17 of the 19 hatched. They are magnificent, so beautiful, and so difficult. The bad news is that the news about my job cut means we can’t keep all of them, but I reached out to the smartest, kindest chicken lady I know. She and her husband are going to take some baby turkeys. I deliver them tomorrow, and I am so excited to see her farm.

The waiting is the hardest part…

~ Crystal Sands ~ 1 Comment

I haven’t written much about it because I am too nervous, but I have 19 turkey eggs in the incubator right now. I have read that turkey eggs can be trickier than chicken eggs, and I have read that caring for turkey babies can be a lot trickier than caring for chickens. I have been reading and reading, scared to death I am going to hatch these turkeys and they are going to die. I read they can literally starve to death with food right there with them. I have read you have to check their crops every day between days 3 and 10 to make sure they are getting enough to eat. I have read you have to put something shiny, like a marble, in the waterer to encourage them to drink. Apparently, they will be curious about the a shiny marble, and it will get them to drink.

When we started this venture, I had not read enough about how hard it was going to be to raise turkeys, so I haven’t written much about it. I have been terrified I am going to accidentally kill those babies. However, I am starting to worry that I have done something wrong during incubation, and those babies are never going to hatch anyway.

Today is day 28. They were supposed to hatch today. And I am used to baby chicks who are supposed to hatch on day 21 but will sometimes hatch as early as day 19. Baby chicks are anxious and energetic. I don’t know what to expect with these turkeys, but I can see they might be a little too chill.

Of course, maybe I did something wrong. I candled twice, and things looked good. I started with 22 hatching eggs. On day 10, I candled, and all 22 had potential. On day 24, I removed the egg turner and candled again. I had 19 that looked promising. I could see movement in some, and they were all quite full. But here I am on day 28, and all I have is one pip. And it’s barely a pip.

I am trying to be patient. I read that is not uncommon for them to wait until the end of day 28 or even day 29, but if I don’t have any baby turkeys by tomorrow night, clearly something has gone wrong.

In the meantime, I wait. And the waiting is certainly the hardest part.

I have been talking to the eggs some today. I definitely heard a peep or two, but not much. When I am doing chicken eggs, those eggs will just cheep and cheep so loudly in the last day.

I decided, however, I am going to try something. I found a YouTube video of a mama turkey talking to her babies. I am about to go play it for my turkey eggs. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Cross your fingers for me! And if you have any experience with turkeys, please share any advice you can. I am going to need it. I mean, hopefully!

photo credit: Dylan Crawford, Unsplash

Boudica is too good at her job…

~ Crystal Sands ~ Leave a comment

I just spent an hour trying to get the ducks put to bed. They are so sensitive to routine that anything out of the ordinary causes all kinds of trouble. Every night, I have to come out of the same door with the same bowl with the same peas and say the same things and bend down carefully and then step away carefully or I have messed things and the ducks are upset.

Unfortunately, this is getting hard to do now because poor little Anna Maria. She is getting very, very blind and maybe a little senile. She is pretty old, and she had such a rough start in her early life that she seems older than our other ducks, even though she is the same age. She is getting lost a lot, and I have to help her find her way back to the flock at least once or twice a day.

This is no problem during the day, but when I am trying to put ducks to bed and need everything to happen in the “special duck order,” finding Anna Mara with a flashlight and then carrying her to the duck house is causes some problems.

Tonight, I could never get them back on track. I ended up leaving the bowl of peas outside of the duck house for in the morning and herding those ducks into the duck house against their will. I mean, I started this whole mess at 9:00 PM. It is now almost 10:00 PM. The ducks needed to get put up to be safe.

I realized as I was looking everywhere tonight for Anna Maria that it’s a miracle she is still alive. It is a miracle a predator hasn’t gotten her yet. I pray that doesn’t happen now that I speak about it, but having a blind duck who often gets separated from the flock is a big worry. Every night that I have to go look for her, I worry I won’t find her, but then I remember Boudica.

As long as we are home (and we are home most of the time), Boudica is working. She protects those ducks all day and into the night before I get them put up to give Boudica a rest. She has done such a good job that Anna Maria, our blind duck with struggles, is getting a little senile she’s so old.

I hope this doesn’t get too much worse for a while. I want Anna Maria to have a good quality of life. I think she does. She can find the little plastic swimming pool, and sometimes, when the other ducks are out and about, she just plays in the pool all by herself. I think she likes it. I don’t think she’s too lonely.

But Boudica is very, very good at her job, isn’t she?

Can you tame a wild heart?

~ Crystal Sands ~ Leave a comment

The other morning, when I went to open up the chicken coop and do the food and water, I couldn’t find Ruby. Ron had put up the chickens the night before, and he doesn’t count the chickens like I do. I was in a panic until I realized I could hear Ruby. But, as I looked around, I still couldn’t find her. It literally sounded like she was coming from inside the coop walls. I didn’t know what to think.

And then I looked down. Outside, there is a ramp with slats leading to the big front door of the coop, Ruby was stuck under the ramp! I have no idea how she got there. It is solid on the sides. In fact, as I write this, I am a little freaked out by how she got there. But that’s where she was. Just complaining so loudly, probably extra because I was stepping down on the ramp and probably squishing her a little.

I raised up the ramp, and Ruby ran out. She didn’t even seem grumpy to me, as she usually is. She just seemed so relieved. That little girl!

We all took guesses as to what happened to her. Mostly, we just made up wild stories. I suggested the rats grabbed her and took her under the coop, but she escaped–sort of. My teen son said the rats got her and were storing her under the ramp for later, like in Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. If you have read that book, I am sorry for that imagery. If you have not read that book, right now is definitely not a good time to read that book. Just don’t do it.

My real guess is that Ruby was out late roosting somewhere, got scared by something, managed to squeeze under the coop for safety but then was drawn to the light under the ramp in the morning. That’s truly just a guess though because there are holes in that theory as well because there is no easy path from the under the coop to under the ramp. I guess I will never know, but words cannot express how badly I wish Ruby could talk to me.

One thing I know for sure is that Ruby has a wild heart and is determined to make life an adventure for herself.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I have been reflecting on my life and my constant push and pull between wanting adventure in my life but then wanting safety and security at the same time. I feel I am a mess. Maybe a little too much like Ruby in some ways because Ruby.

I was thinking about this more when I pruned the pear trees the other day. I love those pear trees so much, but I love them for what they give me, of course. I hate how I have to tame them to not get too tall and how I have to trim branches to ensure the best fruit in the fall. The chopping feels so harsh to me. You know those trees want to be wild. They try every year.

But their fruit is tied to my security. Every year, I get to can pears, make pear crisp, and the like because I tame those trees.

This morning, when I opened the coop door, Kate, Juliet, and Ruby were out and about right away. When I came back later after caring for the ducks and doing their water, Ruby and Juliet were at the door wanting back into the coop. After the rest of the flock clears out, they like to go back into coop to eat. I couldn’t find Kate at all though.

I looked around and found her walking way down the driveway. She is so adventurous. Kate-Kate has a wild heart that will never be tamed.

Earth Day 2025

~ Crystal Sands ~ Leave a comment

I wish I had something profound and inspiring to write today for Earth Day. I can only emphasize that our planet is magnificent to me. It’s such a gift. I can only say that it makes no sense to me that powerful men destroy this planet and then look for a home on another.

But I have spent so many years of my life anguishing over human behavior and carelessness with our planet. I will be honest. I feel a little more disillusioned than I would like siting here writing about it tonight.

I still have hope though. I have hope that, when things get really bad, humans will say, “enough is enough, let’s work together and figure this out.” I have hope that, even if we don’t, the Earth will heal from our damage and go on to support life that may be so different from our own but that will be so beautiful. Though, really, humans are beautiful, are we not? Flaws are beautiful. But you can be beautiful and be tragic.

I have hope that, at some point, all of the little things we do will add up, and we will replace the people at the top who seem hell bent on creating their bunkers and letting the rest burn, who seem to think that destruction is inevitable because they don’t understand how resilient life is. They have never connected with Nature, and it shows. And we will say “no more, we love our home.” And Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer will be required reading in all classrooms.

It could happen, right? Sometimes–okay maybe most of the time–with humans, we have to break things before we realize we need to fix them.

And, while I am finding hope within my disillusionment, I am going to keep trying to be better as an individual. I will keep things until they break and then fix them if I can or get them fixed if I can. I will never spray chemicals in our yard. I will plant native plants. I will be careful with my water use. I will wear the same clothes over and over, and I won’t buy fleece ever again. I will try so hard not to waste. I will try to live more simply. And, finally, this summer, I am going to put in the clothesline I meant to put in last year but never did, as I struggled with long COVID.

And I will remember how good it feels when I put my hands in the Earth, and I will remember to be thankful for her and all the life she gives us.

Happy Earth Day, friends. Sending love. Please tell me what gives you hope. I could use it.

photo credit: Hans Isaacson, Unsplash

Look Out the Window

~ Crystal Sands ~ 4 Comments

Well, friends, I did it. I successfully hatched a batch of baby chicks, and they are now all in the brand new brood box Ron made for them. That brood box is a masterpiece, and I must write about it one day. However, for my story today, you just need to know that it has a large window in the front, so it literally looks like a giant chicken tv.

And, as such, my husband, son, and I have found ourselves watching the baby chickens on “television” several times a day. Last night, we all happened to be out there together watching through the window at how the baby chicks interacted with their world.

“It’s so interesting to think about how their whole world is in that box right now,” my teenager said. “They don’t even know to look out the window.” Oh, that kid has a beautiful mind!

We all talked about how they have everything a baby chick could need or want (besides a mama) right there in that little box–it’s warm, it’s spacious, there’s fresh food and water. And there are many friends to be had. I think I hatched 29 chicks.

“Every now and then the hand of ‘God’ reaches in and adds fresh food and water, and then they are go on their little ways” my son said.

And this led us to a discussion of humans.

Open window with a wooden frame looking out onto a misty green landscape.

We talked about how much there is that humans can’t see or understand, which relates to how we define “God,” though my son pointed out that there are plenty of scientists who have been trying to “look out the window” and see what all is out there. Still, most of us probably don’t even have time to stop and look up at the stars.

I just spent the last four months working non-stop to try to save money and pay off debt before things get really tough economically. Thankfully, we did not have much debt. We are lucky. But we do not own our property outright, so that’s a worry. So, pretty much, for the last several months, if my eyes were open, I was working. I was exhausted mentally and physically and could not move my right arm very well from the repetitive motions. I noticed I was getting more and more grumpy, and I don’t like myself that way.

And then, last week, my jobs were cut back, as I knew they eventually would be. I didn’t “lose” the jobs, but there is just less work–fewer students in college means fewer classes. So, last week, for first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe a little. As scary as it all is, I was just so thankful to not have to work so much.

The other night, when I went outside to put the ducks to bed, instead of rushing them into the duck house, so I could get back to work, I just stood outside and looked up at the stars. When I did, I realized I had not looked up at the stars in months. What a tragedy that is, right? The stars make me think of our Great Pyrenees Gus, who loved to sit outside and just look up at the stars at night, or the clouds during the day, or a cool bird on the fence. But, right before he died, we sat out under the stars for a long time and just took them in together.

The stars are lovely and remind me of how small I am and how small my problems are and how small even the cruel people in charge really are. They don’t know they’re small–well, maybe on some level they do and it scares them and that’s why they behave as they do. But I guess that’s a whole other issue. Still, doesn’t the vastness of the galaxy just give you some perspective?

Looking up at the stars made me think about how I am just a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things. I am a human animal, a mother doing my best to protect my children, keep them safe, ensure the survival of my species because that’s what I am programmed to do, I suppose–and, because I seem to have been born with an urge, make some human art along the way.

But I also have to remember there are so many things I don’t quite understand, how it all fits together, why things fall apart, why cruelty seems to be such a part of it all, but maybe, if I take time to look out the window, I will find some answers. Of course, the older I get, the more I realize that the answer might be that there are no answers.

In the meantime, I am watching the baby chicks. It’s been a few days, and they haven’t looked out the window yet, but give them time, they will soon. And, then, their curious minds will want to know what is outside of that brood box, and the day their feathers come in and they no longer need heat and they get go outside to touch the earth and eat bugs and play in the grass will be the best day.

photo credit: Hannah Tims, Unsplash