Yesterday was my birthday, but I learned from a dear astrologer friend that my actual birthday, according to official trips around the sun from the moment I was born was May 8 at 7:12 PM Eastern Time. This helped me not take yesterday so personally because I had the worst birthday I can remember. It was so bad, by last night, when I was blowing at the candles on the birthday cake that Ron, Ronan, and I made together throughout the day, I was afraid I was going to catch my hair on fire!
Thankfully, I didn’t. I lived and am here to live and love another day. I had hoped to write something profound and beautiful in the blog for my birthday. Something hopeful in dark times. Something about the perspective I have gained after fifty years of living on this planet amongst people, the other animals, the trees, the bees, and so on. But I could only just kind of hang on for dear life and try to get through.
And, somehow, right now, maybe that’s all some of us can do.
I won’t go into details, but the day started with Ron being a bear, me being mad that he was being a bear on my birthday, and then it ended with me injuring myself pretty significantly with the mixer while I tried to make the frosting for my own birthday cake. Along the way, there were strange encounters, bad news about one of my jobs, Boudica actually got outside of our fence when our neighbor accidentally didn’t close the gate, and I spoke to my father for the first time in a year. His life has fallen completely apart in the last few months, and my heart breaks for him, even though we are not close at all.
I’m so glad my birthday is over. There were bright spots. I got to have lunch with my wonderful daughter, and Ron and Ronan and Boudica (Boudica sings) all sang happy birthday to me late at night with a beautiful homemade cake with strawberry frosting, but mostly, I was feeling pretty worried about safety by the end of the day. I kept dropping things, falling, and, of course, the big injury with the mixer. Thankfully, no bones were broken, and I ended the day with only a broken heart.
Ultimately, the day felt like a good lesson for me. Times can be really tough and maybe a little scary, but we have to keep trying, keep hoping, and keep loving those around us.
Oh, and I have a turkey update! Somehow, 17 of the 19 hatched. They are magnificent, so beautiful, and so difficult. The bad news is that the news about my job cut means we can’t keep all of them, but I reached out to the smartest, kindest chicken lady I know. She and her husband are going to take some baby turkeys. I deliver them tomorrow, and I am so excited to see her farm.
Crystal, thank you for your vulnerability.
I read your entries and am comforted by your tender expression of feeling.
i know Im not alone.
Judith, thank you for this!
Dear Crystal, Congratulations on your milestone birthday. Sorry the day itself was trying for a number of reasons but thankfully you did not injure yourself with the mixer! Your cake is beautiful and made with love. I found fifty to be liberating. Please don’t be discouraged by your job set back-hopefully something positive will come your way. What a hoot 17 turkey chicks must be! Enjoy your visit to the farm if the people who are going to raise some of them.
I enjoy your posts about your farmer-ish lifestyle and your descriptions of the animals and your connection to them. Wishing you every happiness in the year ahead.
Thank you so much for the birthday wishes! And thank you for the kind words. I am hopeful for 50. I feel really positive looking ahead. I guess I just had to get through that doozie of a birthday. 🙂