Wintering

I don’t know if it’s that I got used to easier winters or just the state of the world, but this winter has felt hard. I am sitting here listening to the sleet on the windows and the stove pipe, and I am wondering how in the world we are going to clean things up in the morning for the chickens and ducks.

I have shoveled so many mornings that, now, when I wake up, if I look at the window and see snow, I yell “nooo.”

But as I typed these words, I think I realize that it’s not the snow at all. We have a wood stove. I love the exercise of shoveling snow, and though I am slower than I used to be, I am thankful I have the strength to keep shoveling.

You wouldn’t believe the conversations Ron and I are having trying to figure out how to handle what might be coming our way. I cannot believe the words that are coming out of our mouths. I cannot believe we are here. I cannot even share my worries because I am worried about voicing my worries.

I hope I am not making your worries worse.

Today, I smiled big for the first time in a good while. My son was practicing his cello this evening, and Boudica came to listen. She hasn’t done that in a while. We got Boudica in 2016, and our son started cello in 2017. Boudica has been with him the whole way–since the squeaky Twinkle Twinkle Little Star days. Tonight, it was like she took some time off of work to just sit and listen to him. She sat and watched while I gave her pets, and I found myself smiling in a way that my face hasn’t felt in far too long.

The good cello and time with Boudica reminded me that it feels good to smile.

Oh, and I haven’t been writing as much because I am making really good progress on putting my chicken book together. My goal is to have it finished by the time I’m 50. I’m getting really close–on both.