Empty Nest

Day 99 of 365

The other day, I climbed up the step ladder to see inside the empty Eastern Phoebe nest. This is the picture I took. You can see the Boudica hair in the nest, and it warms my heart to think about Boudica’s soft fur bringing comfort to baby birds. I have only seen an Eastern Phoebe once since the second round of babies left the nest. I have been sad without them, and I got so excited yesterday when Ron pointed out the window and asked if the little bird on the rail of deck was an Eastern Phoebe.

I ran to the window and saw the little bird fly to the old nest. It was there for just a few seconds, and then it left. I have so many questions: What was it doing? Was that one of the parents? Was that one of the babies all grown up?

Yesterday, I got to spend time with my grown daughter. It’s always such a treat when you get to hang out with your grown children. It’s hard when they grow up and move out. I think, for the two months after she moved out, I wrote her every night before bed. She was always kind and always wrote back. Gradually, I stopped doing that, and though she lives in the same town, we are all so busy, sometimes, I will go two weeks without seeing her. So, yeah, it’s a treat when I get to see her.

Every single time I see her and see how grown up she is, I wish to go back in time and treasure my time with her more when she was little. I adored her, and I am so thankful for things like the time she was sick and couldn’t go to school so I called into work and sat with her the whole day and read a book to her, cover to cover. I am so thankful for the day we both skipped school and went to the High Desert Museum and then out to lunch. But, oh my goodness, I wish for more days like that. I wish I had done more, more, more of those things. It goes by so quickly. I worked too much. I want to time travel.

Of course, I cannot. My youngest just turned 13, and I remember how it seemed like a blink of my eye that my daughter went from 13 to 25. Last night, I was making videos on APA format for one of my graduate classes, and my son said “I guess it’s too late to for a walk.”

You can bet I dropped everything and went for a walk with him. I am struggling right now with balance in my life. I am not sure how to get it, but I am sure that my life feels like it is passing by quickly. I had better figure out how to make more time for the good stuff.

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