Day 119 of 365
I have been working all day with a soft start to homeschool and putting up corn and making sauce and baking zucchini bread and grading papers. But I wanted to give a quick update on my kitty. She is doing a little better. At her vet visit today, she had gained a tiny bit of weight–1.4 ounces to be exact. I was a little hopeful, but the vet reminded me that we are still at the end with her.
I don’t feel ready. I love her so. And, of course, just being at the vet is so hard because it reminds me of my Gus. It hasn’t even been a year since he passed suddenly. Thinking about how much I love Sophie and loved Gus reminded me of how wonderful and terrible love is. You just gotta love big, but that means you will, eventually, hurt big. Yeah, wonderful and terrible.
One time, I had a friend and colleague ask me how I could just love so big. This confused me. I just thought love was big, but after I thought about it, I could see what he meant. I do love big. Because of this, I know big pain is coming for me very soon with Sophie.
Chances are, if you are reading my blog, you love big too and know the big pain of loss too. It’s so hard, right? But what else is there to do?