Gratitude Tuesday

March 12, 2025 ~ Crystal Sands ~ 2 Comments

It has been such a long, cold winter that we are running low on firewood. This makes my teen son who runs quite hot quite happy. However, the cats and I are chilly in the evenings, and we all miss the fire in the wood stove. Thankfully, we are starting to see a melt, and it feels like Spring is, truly, just around the corner. It is also nice that the kitties hang out with me in the evenings now instead of in front of or underneath the wood stove. My lap is now the warmest spot.

I am teaching a rhetoric class right now, and one of my students wrote about how she sends emails to her co-workers every single Wednesday to tell them how grateful she is for them. This resonated with me on so many levels. First, I have been trying very hard to convince my mother of late that people will help you more if you treat them kindly. She is resistant to this idea, but I don’t think it’s wrong. It’s true that there will be some who will just take advantage, but by and large, my kindness to others has resulted in a great deal of happiness and support in my life. I think my student is wise, rhetorically speaking, to send gratitude emails.

But there’s also just the goodness for goodness’s sake–that overwhelming feeling of good when you have helped someone or done some good in the world. It’s so real. Just yesterday, my son and I experienced this. He was driving us home from his cello lessons (he recently got his learner’s permit), and there was a person with a sign asking for money. We have been trying so hard to save every penny of late that we haven’t been helping others like we would normally. This has impacted me mentally quite a bit. I like to be as generous as possible, but I also understand that hard times are upon us.

I have not had cash in my wallet in quite some time, but by some miracle, I actually had some cash. It was a $20.

I hesitated. “That’s a lot of money right now,” I said.

“Please,” my son said. “I’ll pay you back.”

So I handed him the money, and he handed it to the man.

The man was so grateful. We watched as he packed up his bag. It was enough that he could be done for the day, it seemed.

“Being giving made me feel better. I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time,” my son said. “If you ever get lucky and win at capitalism, you share, share, share,” I said. “You’ll be a happier human for it.”

The story reminded me of how helping others really just helps you. I don’t tell that story to make it seem like we are so great because we are not. I have been so worried about the state of things that I haven’t been very generous to the world at all in recent months. But I am grateful I had that $20. It led to a good conversation with my son about the joy of being helpful to others and how we can’t lose that in tough times. And, truly, it felt so good to be helpful.

With that in mind, I am grateful the hens are laying now. Before I start selling eggs I plan to give a few dozen away because eggs are such a precious gift right now. I mean, they always were to me, but I think, right now, those beautiful eggs might lift some spirits. I took one dozen to my neighbor, and she paid with a hug. I was grateful.

I am also grateful that the snow is melting, that my son and I are gaining in health and strength, that Boudica is able to go on short walks again, and that my brother, who has been very ill, is in recovery after a liver and kidney transplant. We talk on the phone at least twice a week now, and I am so thankful for his conversation. He is so curious about our farming, and I tell him everything I can about the chickens, ducks, and what all we do around here. He lives far away, but he said he had a dream he was with us at our house working in the garden wearing a straw hat and that it was all wonderful.

I am grateful for the community I have been able to make around Farmer-ish. The journal is coming back online on the Spring Equinox, and I can’t wait to share it with you. And I am grateful to have a community to share it with. Thank you for reading and supporting in all the ways.

Every Tuesday, I am going to try to write about the things I am grateful for. We need good things. We need love and kindness and gratitude. How else can we combat the darkness, right?

I would love for you to join in. Are there things you are feeling grateful for right now?

Be good for something.

January 27, 2023 ~ Crystal Sands ~ Leave a comment

Day 263 of 365

It has been a tough week on my empathetic soul.

I have had to take on some extra classes at work to help some colleagues struggling with COVID and long COVID, so in addition to just be worn from the work, I am worried about my fellow writing professors having such struggles. Then, there was the sad and angry man at the grocery store who was so upset about groceries prices. I also have some friends and family really struggling from grocery prices, and I worry things won’t get better. I read an opinion piece by an economist who said it’s possible that things, in general, may never be cheap again, that climate change is causing at least some of this economic turmoil. I can see this, so this makes me worry. Then, there were a few things that happened today that just kind of made me despair for the world.

Thankfully, thankfully, I have learned what helps me when I despair for the world–kindness. Even if it’s just a small thing.

I remembered this tonight when I had a distant friend, who has been struggling with health problems, commented on the new candles I made this week and wanted to know if they were going to be on sale in the Etsy shop. They will be if I can ever make the time to do it, but I thought to myself, “oh, maybe it would lift her spirits to just get one on the mail!” I mean, people send me gifts in the mail sometimes, and I am like a kid at Christmas. So I love to send gifts too.

Ron used to think I was over-acting when I received gifts from people. Maybe some others have thought this about me. One time my sweet neighbor said, “It’s just a dish towel, Crystal.” But I was like, “but it has chickens on it!”

I am not acting. When people are kind to me, and I so deeply grateful that it just comes out–all gushy like.

So I asked my friend to send her address to me, and she seemed so happy! And then I felt happy. Really happy. I forgot my despair, and then I remembered–it’s the kindness. So I will get to work figuring out some more kindnesses I can do for others and focus on doing good work. That’s how I keep from despairing.

I certainly realize that small kindnesses are not going to fix the world, but they will fix me and help the people around me. And that has to be a good thing–being good for something in some small way.

One of Thoreau’s famous quotes is, “Be not simply good. Be good for something.” This is the truth, isn’t it?

photo credit: Laura Gilchrest, Unsplash

For the Love of Mittens

October 22, 2022 ~ Crystal Sands ~ Leave a comment

Day 165 of 365

I can’t believe I have been doing this project for 165 days. I often wish to write more than I have time to, but I am thankful I make at least some time to write each day. Plus, at least once a week, I can write a little more. I find that I am having lots more writing ideas than I used to. I still do not have time to write them, but the ideas are everywhere. I guess all of the writers I know who say to write every single day, no matter what, knew what they were talking about. My next step is to figure out more time to write. For now, I am proud to be writing these words tonight. 165 days is no small feat for me.

Today was a good day. I did a book event for Farmer-ish at my favorite store in the world, Tiller & Rye in Brewer, Maine. It was slow but good overall, and the only bad thing about the whole day was that I found so many more things I wish to buy in that store because I love them so much. Handmade bowls, beautiful spices, locally made soaps–and mittens.

Oh, they have this giant bin of handmade in Maine mittens! Giant! And I think they are upcycled materials. I couldn’t get too close, or else I would have purchased too many mittens, You have no idea how much I love mittens for people I love, especially children. But all of my nieces and nephews live in Texas. They don’t really need mittens and I already bought mittens for the couple of children I know in Maine. But the mittens are magnificent. I wish to buy like ten pair of mittens and then give them as gifts to all of my friends. But I assume they do not necessarily need mittens. I am to an age where I do not have many young children in my life, so I don’t know of anyone who might really need some mittens. I assume not everyone loves mittens like I do. I asked my son, the teenager, if he would like mittens, and I can’t remember what he said exactly, but it was something clever that was equivalent to a verbal eye roll. So no mittens for him. Anyway, I’ll have to keep thinking about who I know who may be able to use some mittens.

As I think about it, I feel like, if you live in the north, you could surely use some mittens, right? Maybe people do love mittens as much as I do. I mean, remember Bernie’s mittens?

Today, in addition looking longingly at a giant bin of mittens out front where I was stationed at the store, when I went back to the office to talk to the manager, I discovered they have more bins in the back of beautiful handmade mittens. Oh, the colors and the fabrics and the uniqueness of each one because they are handmade. They were so beautiful there in the store, and it made me happy thinking about people coming in, buying mittens, leaving with warm hands. The winters can be so hard on my hands. Mittens help keep your bones warm.

Wait. I have a plan! I am writing this down to make myself do this. I am going to talk to Ron about spending some holiday money on buying a bunch of these handmade mittens. Then, I am going to call an organization in town that helps the homeless (I can’t remember the name, so I am going to have to look it up), and if they will take mittens for families in need, I’m going to donate those beautiful mittens. That would be an act of joy that would be helpful to someone, so it would be good for my soul and for others–at least their hands–but maybe also their bones–and maybe also their souls.