Tag: ducks

Mean Ducks and Pretty Roosters

~ Crystal Sands ~ 2 Comments

I am putting it down in writing that I am never getting another duck. Our ducks will be 6 years old in the spring. They can live to be 13 to 15 years old with good genetics and good living conditions. I love those little ducks, but I will not get more ducks after these ducks pass away. They can be so mean.

Poor Anna Maria is getting picked on again. It’s happening in the duck house at night, so I have been making sure I get up very early and run down stairs to let the ducks out every morning. This morning, however, Anna Maria still had a little spot on her head. Thankfully, it’s nowhere near the damage a male duck can do, but still. In the absence of a male to lead the flock, the largest female has stepped up and is pretty fierce.

Just yesterday, I heard a loud commotion with the ducks. I looked out the window to see two ducks ganged up on another duck, just driving her head into the ground with those bills (thankfully, it was not Anna Maria getting picked on this time). I ran outside to stop the nonsense, but the largest duck went right back to it when I walked away. I chased her down and scooped her up and just made her walk around with me for a bit. She submitted quickly. She’s not a mean duck really, but my goodness, ducks can be pretty mean to each other. I know some people will think I am silly for writing this. It’s just ducks being ducks, after all, but I am opposed to any behavior that causes injury to another–in all aspects of my life–even ducks, it seems. So I’ll just keep trying to be vigilant, but no more ducks after this batch.

I have heard chickens can be like this too, but outside of a crazy rooster we had a long time ago, I’ve never seen such terrible behavior. We have a pretty nice flock.

And, speaking of our nice flock, we have too many boys right now. I mentioned before that I lucked into the best home ever for one of Ruby’s babies, and I meant to look for a home for her other little boy. But every single day that little boy gets more and more beautiful. It’s hard to capture his beautiful colors in a picture, but he just shimmers green and black in the sun. He looks just like his mama, Hector, who is a Black Copper Maran, and Black Copper Maran roosters are gorgeous. Ron said, “let’s just keep him” because Rooster is pretty old. I thought we would surely lose Rooster last winter though, and he’s still getting around, even making babies this summer. So I don’t know what to do yet, but I know that our flock makes some beautiful babies. This little boy is magnificent.

My Fantastic (but a Little Scary) New Neighbors

~ Crystal Sands ~ Leave a comment

Do you remember when I wrote about the three owls that came the night before my three hens died? Well, they moved in.

They just stayed here. They hang out every night right next to our house. They are in my friend, the Maple tree, on our fence, in the trees along the driveway. It’s surreal and such a treat to get to see them so closely. I mean, what an opportunity to observe nature, right?

Our teenaged son goes for walks along our driveway at night while he listens to music, and he says there is one owl in almost the same spot every night. He says it watches him. My son’s favorite animal is the owl, and that’s saying something. He doesn’t overtly love nature the way Ron and I do. It’s cool that I can see it in there though. Anyway, this has been a treat for our son, and he has been able to capture some great footage of these birds watching him right back.

Of course, they are a little scary. Owls can do terrible things to ducks, and the ducks like to stay out late. I have to be so diligent in making sure the ducks are up as soon as it is dark. The owls are a worry for sure. In fact, I don’t think we are going to be able to go anywhere past dark without getting someone to put up the ducks, and since I don’t really know anyone who might do that for us, we are stuck thanks to our new neighbors.

But that’s okay. I’ll just have to be diligent. I love having these new neighbors. They are helping us avoid the situation like we had last year with rats in the coop. I am grateful. Plus, they are so beautiful.

I am grateful.

What Happened with Anna Maria

~ Crystal Sands ~ 3 Comments

*Content warning: This post discusses the death of a duck. Please note it is not Anna Maria.

I have decided that I am going to try to go back to writing here every day. First, other social media makes me too sad. My newsfeed is full of animal rescue videos because Facebook’s algorithms are just scary good. Sometimes, the animal rescue videos end happily; sometimes, the videos are sad. When I come across a sad one, I think about it all day and worry and worry about the animal. It’s ridiculous behavior, I know. I am sure the videos are years old anyway. But it’s a struggle I have. Second, I found that writing about our animals and our little farmstead made me happier.

When I quit blogging here every day, I told myself I would keep a journal on my own, where I could write about more than the homestead. Of course, I didn’t do it, so I’m back to writing about the homestead every night. I feel full of good stories right now anyway.

I am going to start with the toughest story to tell because I am dealing with the “Anna Maria situation” yet again tonight. I hoped I would not be back here.

When I quit blogging about Anna Maria in April or May, I didn’t know what we were going to do about her situation. Anna Maria was having to sleep in our house every night. She hated it after a while. On top of this, even putting her out only during the day with Antonio did not work. He was still tearing up her little head. We ended up having to put her in a separate fence where she spent her days alone.

I spent months researching options for the situation that would not have to end in death for one of those ducks. The only option I could find that could work would be building a new area with a new house and get a new duck friend for Anna Maria. We tried separating Antonio some. We tried putting him where he couldn’t even see his girls. But he could still hear his girls. Female runner ducks can be pretty loud. He was hurting himself trying to get to them.

The thought of building a new area and then having additional heavy winter chores for Anna Maria and a friend (and that’s even hoping they would be friends; you don’t know for sure, of course) was too much. I thought about my health struggles and then spent weeks studying Antonio’s behavior to see what in the world was causing this aggression.

It turns out, it was not aggression at all. I spoke to some people online about male ducks getting more aggressive when they got older. Not too many people had older ducks. Most just don’t make it, but out of the few who did, about half reported growing aggression with age. So I studied Antonio to try to figure out what might be triggering the aggression. Was it just his hormones?

I discovered he was not meaning to be aggressive. When he was mating the hens, it was taking a long time for him to be able to “do the deed.” He used to be quick. He was now slow, sometimes very slow. And the act of ducks mating is pretty aggressive. You multiple the amount of time that takes by 10, and there’s going to be some damage. So, there it was. Antonio couldn’t help it, but he was tearing up the girls and going to kill Anna Maria. I am not much for prayer, but I prayed to the land for it to help me know what to do. It was extra difficult to decide because the reality is that Anna Maria could still get picked on by a dominant female, and we would be back to square one pretty much.

Bu I made a decision. I talked to Ron, and he understood and agreed.

We then spent about 8 weeks researching the kindest, most humane way to cull a duck. Ron and I agreed it was too risky to ask someone else to do it, even though Ron did not want to do it. We couldn’t trust others to treat him well. I read blogs and studied anything I could find on the topic. I wanted the impossible. I wanted him to be going along, enjoying his day, and then a second later, be gone.

I will not go into details about the passing of an animal in this space, but I have to tell you it was pretty much that he was walking along, enjoying his day, and then a second later, he was gone. We got so lucky for the best possible way to do the worst possible thing. It’s like Antonio helped us, and I don’t even understand that.

I miss him terribly. As I write these words, I feel some regret. I feel a lot pain. I loved him. And, because of my love for him, I let him hurt the girls too long. I also did not love him enough to make more sacrifices for him in my life, and I feel some guilt about that. Life on the farm is hard sometimes. I do understand why some people do not let themselves get close to the animals, but I believe it’s better to feel pain than nothing at all.

When Antonio was gone, I was able to get closer to our female ducks. He would never let the girls get to close to me. I could see he was starting to make some wounds on two other girls.

I worried the girls would miss him. It’s a hard truth to write, but I am telling you those ducks were so happy. They were a little subdued for about an hour, but by the evening, they were having a duck party. They were playing in the pool without being mounted. They were loud and cheerful. In a few days, the girls were also laying so much better. We went from getting 3 to 4 eggs per day to 5 or 6 eggs per day. These hens are 5 years old! That’s amazing egg production!

It was like everyone was so grateful.

In the weeks after, it was wonderful to watch Anna Maria heal. She’s still blind and still has struggles, of course, but her quality of life was greatly, greatly, greatly improved. This poor duck has suffered in her life thanks to male ducks. As hard as it was to cull Antonio, I am grateful. I love Anna Maria dearly, and I deeply feel for her because of my own trauma in my life. For her, I am willing to do extra. Anything it takes. I’m not sure why other than I feel connected to her.

Anna Maria’s feathers came back so beautifully, and, for the first time in over a year, Anna Maria is able to get treats at snack time. Antonio never let her get anything. It was heartbreaking. It is a joy of my life to watch Anna Maria get some of her favorite treats at snack time. Oh, and she’s been quacking at the back porch when she wants extra snack time. Ron and I always find something. She also gets to sleep with the other ducks, and she doesn’t have to be touched every night by humans who she just can’t fully trust.

However, the night before last, someone was mean to her in the duck house over night. I study her closely every day to keep a close eye on her health. Yesterday, when I let the ducks out in the morning, Anna Maria had some slight injury to her head. This morning, it was worse. Thankfully, the injury was nothing like what Antonio did to her this spring, but I can see where this might be headed. I have to try to nip this.

Tonight, I had to kidnap Anna Maria right after bedtime peas and put her in the garage in a large crate. I thought she was going to be so mad at me. She was not. She leaned into me tonight. I was able to pet her and talk sweet to her. She just let me.

I am sure she will be right back to being grumpy at me in a few days, but tomorrow night, I’m going to see if she will let me pet her and talk sweet to her again when I have to kidnap her after bedtime peas. If she does, I’m going to try to pet her for a long time–just to see what happens.

Sitting Duck

~ Crystal Sands ~ 1 Comment

Well, I just about had a heart attack. Anna Maria was put up in her bathroom nest for the night, and I went outside to give the rest of the ducks their nightly peas. I could only find five ducks! There should be six. There are always six. Every now and then, someone will be slow, but those ducks usually meet me at the porch because they LOVE bedtime peas.

I called and called and called. No duck.

I looked everywhere, but it was getting dark, making it difficult to see much of anything. I went inside to get the flashlight and told Ron what was going on. He had just come in from putting up the chickens and picking up all the food on the property, so I figured he surely would have heard any kind of commotion. He had heard nothing. Still, I could not find that duck.

I took the flashlight outside and looked all over the back area where the ducks live. It’s about half an acre and very sturdily fenced, so I didn’t think anything could get in. There are always the owls, but I saw no signs of an attack.

Finally, I asked Ron to come back outside to help.

“Can an owl carry off a duck?” I asked.

“There would be feathers at least,” he said.

Then, I saw where Ron was heading, and I was hopeful. We have a burn area surrounded by rocks, and it’s full of branches right now. I crawled down and shined the flashlight and there she was! Just sitting there, still as could be. In a little nest she made perfectly amongst the branches.

“She’s trying to go broody,” I said.

When I got her out, I could see she was sitting on a stash of six eggs. She must have decided to go broody just today, as I have seen her every other night without fail. She is tucked into the duck house every night after peas.

Still, just to be safe, I candled all of the eggs. Nothing. Because ducks live so long in the right conditions, we do not plan to get more ducks. It was tempting to think about little ducklings running around though. Tempting indeed. I love baby chicks, but baby ducks melt my heart.

Of course, I am mainly just so glad she’s okay.

The Sweetest Video

~ Crystal Sands ~ 1 Comment

Day 6 of 21

One more day until I can candle Ruby’s eggs! She is doing well. She had a lot of scrambled eggs today, so that was great for her. I accidentally sat a carton of eggs I had just packed up down on a low table and ran to help my kiddo who had a bloody nose. When I got back, Bairre had taken the carton of eggs off the table, dumped them, and was eating what he could. I managed to scoop up almost everything that was left and save those eggs for the chickens.

I don’t know if I will candle Ruby’s eggs tomorrow or Monday–maybe Monday. When I do, I will be sure to make a video.

And, speaking of videos, I accidentally took the sweetest little video ever. Ron was getting soil ready for planting potatoes, and the ducks were helping. In particular, our duck, Anna Sophia, was helping. She’s the duck who lived in our house for several months and fell in love with the cello. She’s been hanging out with us extra this spring, and it has been a joy.

I went outside to video her, and I am convinced I accidentally captured a tiny moment of the magic of this place on video. I hope this makes you smile.

An Owl Story

~ Crystal Sands ~ Leave a comment

Just the other day, my son and I were having a conversation about animals, and he asked me what my favorite animal was. I explained that I could not choose–dogs, cats, chickens, donkeys, elephants, squirrels, Eastern Phoebes…How can one choose a favorite animals?

“My favorite is the owl,” he said.

“Oh, that’s a cool favorite,” and I added that owls, though magnificent, are scary to me because I am a chicken and duck mama. I told him about the video I saw of what an owl does to a duck and that I was kind of scarred for life from it.

He understood, but we both agreed that an owl has to eat too and that they are, indeed, magnificent animals.

Two nights later, I would have a close encounter with an owl that I just have to write about.

It started with a perfect storm of circumstances, as these stories always seem to do. I was really hungry, and it was late. I decided to go ahead and eat dinner quickly before putting up the ducks, which now includes an Anna Maria rodeo because she doesn’t like sleeping in the bathroom.

Of course, there is no choice, so I rodeo every night. She complains and fights me. I tell her this is for her own good. She doesn’t believe me. I give her peas, put her in her nest. That’s what we do every night now. Then, I work to get the rest of the ducks put up. They love to party late during the summer, so it’s all a bit of a chore.

Anyway, it was getting pretty dark by the time I finished dinner. On top of this, Bairre was in a mood because he didn’t get to have for dinner what we had for dinner, so he was doing his “thing” when he’s being difficult and doesn’t touch the ducks because he’s not supposed to but gets really close to them to make them upset. The ducks are just fine when Boudica is near them, but Bairre cannot yet be trusted. I don’t blame them. He’s such a puppy still, and his track record is sketchy.

I managed, despite Bairre causing his chaos, to get Anna Maria caught and put up. By the time I headed back outside, the ducks were acting really strange. I thought maybe it was just Bairre, but it seems a little extra. I was making my way around to the corner to go see what was going on when I heard the owl–and it was in the tree right above my head!

I was panicked. It made some sounds that did not sound good for my ducks. For a second, I just froze, trying to calculate how quickly I might be able to get to the ducks. Thanks to Bairre, they were out in the middle of the yard. Usually, when it gets even close to dark, they will stay under the deck or near the house. But they were out there in the wide open, and an owl was on it.

I began hollering for Ron or our son for help, but I was pretty sure they weren’t coming. Ron was in the basement, and our son, who was outside, was wearing his AirPods. He always has those things in his ears. He listens to music every second he’s awake if he can, and it gets a little old when I’m trying to get his attention and have to hunt him down. Anyway, I was cursing those AirPods.

I heard the owl make a wild sounding call again right as it flew out of the tree. It was right over my head and going right toward the ducks. In hindsight, it was magnificent to see–those wings right over my head. There was a small amount of light left in the sky, just enough to for me to see the silhouette and some under-feather patterns. My goodness! It was beautiful. Its wingspan was about three feet. I think it was a Barred owl, but I definitely didn’t hear “Who cooks for you?”

The only thing I knew to do, as I could see it was going to be on the ducks in one second and it would probably take me at least 10 seconds to get there, was throw my hands in the air and scream, “NOOOOOOO!”

Just as it made a swoop to the ground, Bairre came bounding around, clueless to the owl but aware enough to see that something was wrong because of the way I acting. Either his presence or mine was enough to make the owl move on. A sense of such relief fell over me.

I started hollering again for Ron, and he finally heard me and came outside to get Bairre, as Bairre clearly had to be put in the house and I clearly couldn’t leave the ducks alone.

Ron got Bairre put up, and I got the ducks put up (they went up super fast, no partying). All was well.

But I was thinking, “there is surely never a dull moment around here, is there?”

photo credit: Sonder Quest, Unsplash

Anna Maria was waiting for us.

~ Crystal Sands ~ 3 Comments

Day 345 of 365

It has been a long day, but I have good news: Day 1 of the Anna Maria plan was a success! This morning, I put Antonio in the fenced area and let Anna Maria stay with the other females. They weren’t like super excited to see Anna Maria, but they gave her no trouble. And a few did get close to her sometimes.

Still, Anna Maria was largely alone for most of the morning, and since Antonio was behaving very well in the fenced area, I decided to let him out in the late afternoon. I just stayed with the ducks for a long time to make sure everything was okay.

Everything was really okay! Antonio had forgotten about Anna Maria and really just wanted to roam the duck area again. My plan worked! I do think his hormones may have settled down a bit too, so that was another reason I decided to take a chance.

Anna Maria was safe all day. I was so thankful. Sadly, however, she was also still alone most of the day. She has never fully fit in with the flock, but it seems to be a little worse this year–not just since the incident but really all year. I don’t know if it is because she’s mostly blind or if something else is going on.

But I checked on her and talked to her about a thousand times today. She definitely never runs from me now, which is so cool. The coolest thing happened tonight though. When it was about bedtime for ducks, Ron and I went outside to get Anna Maria, and we found her waiting by the gate where she has been every night since we moved her outside. The rest of the ducks were at the back door. Anna Maria used to wait at the back door. Tonight, she was waiting where we have been scooping her up at night. It was like she was ready to come in!

It was easy to scoop her up. She didn’t run from us at all. Ron showed me the way she likes to be held, so I turned her to situate her on my chest with her head looking over my shoulder. I still didn’t get it just right, but I let her situate herself how she wanted. Once she had her chest against my chest, she seemed to just calm down. I could feel her heartbeat in my chest, and it was not beating super quickly, which I figured was a really good sign that she wasn’t panicking about being held.

I also realized that she could feel my heartbeat. I told Ron that I have had sick chickens and baby chicks also situate themselves on my chest, right over my heart, like the heartbeat relaxes them. Isn’t that cool? I wonder why that is.

This reminds me of the time I had to hold the baby chicks against my chest in my robe. I will have to tell that story soon. Those babies sang to me!

Anyway, Ron told me tonight he has also heard Anna Maria’s tic in the duck house at night and wondered what he was hearing. Now that we know, Ron agrees that Anna Maria is sleeping with us at night for the rest of her life. I am glad we agree on this.

The Anna Maria Plan

~ Crystal Sands ~ 4 Comments

Day 343 of 365

It has been 10 days since Anna Maria was injured and had to be removed from her flock. Because she is so fragile, Ron and I have been back and forth about what to do about her.

For 6 days, she was in the house full time. I hung out with her every day for hours, playing music for her. It was fascinating to see not only what she responded to but also how she responded. I learned in the last 10 days that Anna Maria has a nervous “tic” of sorts. I am happy to report that, over time, I saw less and less of it, but music helped the most. When she liked something, the tic was gone. In addition to cello music (Bach is a favorite for sure), there were some country music songs she liked. She did not approve of Bruce Springsteen’s Dancing in the Dark or Don Henley’s Boys of Summer. She did very much like Maria by Brooks and Dunn. I played it for her because of her name because, a couple of years ago, she learned her name.

Not all of our chickens and ducks learn their names, but some definitely do–like Mary Jane and Rooster. I try to say everyone’s names when I say hello to them in order to see if they eventually learn their names, but I do not spend a ton of time with the chickens and ducks each day (mostly just food and water and treats and egg collecting). I guess the exception is Ruby because, she’s always everywhere. I assume it would take a lot of interaction for the chickens and ducks to quickly learn their names, so it usually takes awhile for anybody to learn.

Still, there is another characteristic of a chicken or a duck who learns their name: It’s that they are curious enough to pay attention to me. For some, I am food, water, and security, but some are pretty curious about me. The fact that Anna Maria learned her name makes me think she has maybe been paying a lot more attention to me than I had thought over the years.

Anyway, I am getting way off track, but maybe it’s important to share those details to see how much I have come to adore Anna Maria extra over the past week and a half.

Ron put some extra fencing around a fenced area at the back of our property, so Anna Maria could go outside during the day. Four days ago, we started taking her outside in the mornings. She is fenced from the rest of the flock but can at least be outside during the day. She seemed so very happy to get back outside. She loves digging her bill into the dirt and hunting around the fence edge for insects. Anna Maria’s joy at being outside made it clear she would not he happy being an inside duck.

So we thought about trying to buy a single female duck to be her companion. Ron would have to build a small duck house for them, and it would mean an additional job in the winter having to shovel snow out of a third area. Ron and I both feel stretched fairly thin most days. We talked and talked, trying to figure out if we could handle more work. Plus, runner ducks live long lives if all goes well. Apparently, they can live 10 to 15 years. Getting a young duck would mean starting that clock over, and while we plan to keep chickens into our old age, the ducks are harder work.

Then, we talked about finding a home for Antonio, which led us to realize that would never happen. People just don’t want an older male duck. Plus, he’s definitely been more aggressive with his mating in the last 2 years. You can’t really give away a duck that might lead to problems for other people. We wondered if we should consider culling him because of his aggression, but we have a hope that this will settle down. He’s getting old enough that his hormones should start to slow a little. We’ll see, but we decided we can’t really choose Anna Maria over Antonio. We just can’t. We love them both, though Anna Maria is definitely the favorite for both of us.

It seems there are no simple solutions, but I think I have an idea that can work. Ron is on board to try, so we are going to try in the morning. The Anna Maria plan is to put Antonio in the smaller fenced area tomorrow and let Anna Maria be with the girls for a few hours. Then, we can let Antonio out and see how he does. We will have to watch closely the whole time. If all goes well, we can try to let them all stay together during the day, but we have decided that, to be safe, for the rest of her life (well, at least as long as Antonio is around), Anna Maria is going to sleep in the house. I think Antonio might get a little aggressive in the duck house.

The first day Anna Maria was in the house with us, I saw her making her nervous tic in the bathtub. She was in the corner and she would move her bill back and forth, over and over and over a million times, each time tapping one side of the bathtub and then the other. It was a constant “thump, thump, thump, thump.” I realized then where I had heard that sound before. There have been times at night when I have been outside near the duck house, and I heard this “thump, thump, thump, thump.” I wondered what in the world this could be. I realized this must have been Anna Maria, and I am heartbroken. That poor girl is nervous out there too–at least at night.

But Anna Maria has good days the flock, so we are going to try her out and see how she does. The plan is to put Antonio up any time he is aggressive and for a few weeks at the first of spring and first of fall, when his hormones really seem to get him wound up. Then, of course, we will bring Anna Maria into the house at night. Hopefully, this will work. Hopefully, Anna Maria is okay. She hasn’t laid an egg in 4 days. It’s a little bit of a concern.

Hopefully, all goes well tomorrow.

A duck, a cello, and a very proud dad…

~ Crystal Sands ~ 2 Comments

Day 341 of 365

Two days ago, we started putting Anna Maria into a separate fenced area, so she didn’t have to stay in the bathroom all day while she recovers from her injury.. She’s doing pretty well, though I know she wants to be back with her people. She is healing well, but is still separated from the flock.

I miss hanging out with her and listening to music with her. I loved seeing which music she liked. I could tell by her body language. In our time together, I have learned that Anna Maria makes a nervous back and forth movement when she is feeling anxious, but certain music makes her relax and listen.

Tonight, Ron was bringing Anna Maria into the house to sleep in the bathroom since she can’t sleep in the duck house. He said she was so scared being held that she was just trembling, but when Ron walked by the music room where our son was practicing his cello, he said Anna Maria stopped trembling and noticeably relaxed in his arms.

When my son was finished with the piece he was practicing, we asked him to play it again for Anna Maria. He said he was going to play something better for her. He played Bach’s Prelude to Cello Suite No. 1. This piece has a special place in all of our hearts because our son wanted to learn it so badly when he was little. When his teacher taught him how to play the whole thing, it was such a joy for all of us. And it’s a piece that remains a favorite for our son. He revisits old music fairly often, but the one piece he revisits most of all is this Prelude.

In fact, I have a series of videos of him playing it at different stages over the last few years. I think the first one was when he was 11. I said I was going to keep recording this piece his whole life to show his progress as a cellist, so every now and then, I get one on video. I haven’t recorded one in awhile, so tonight was perfect.

Anyway, I am so glad to share this video. It’s like my whole heart is in it–my son playing his cello, that beautiful duck, and Ron, holding that duck so she can listen to the music, and then that proud nod to our son at the end. Also, about mid-way through the video, you hear this scratching and sliding down the wall, that’s our cat, Betty, just being Betty. She was attacking the walls in the music room. She’s our wild child. Somehow, hearing Betty’s rowdiness just makes me love this video even more.

A Rare Moment with Anna Maria

~ Crystal Sands ~ 2 Comments

Day 330 of 365

If you follow the blog, you know about Anna Maria and how she doesn’t trust me after I rehabilitated her in 2019. She just never forgave me for all the medicine and health inspections. Tragically, it was kind of like I was a part of her trauma, though I was healing her and trying to be so good to her. It’s just a hard thing for a skittish duck to go through. Poor, sweet girl. You may also know that she is going blind, most likely as a result of her injuries when she was young.

I just attributed her strange behavior lately to her going blind. I am not so sure now.

Lately, Anna Maria has been getting closer to me. Not only does she not run from me very much anymore, but she also, sometimes, seems like she wants to get closer to me. I would freeze when this would happen, confused, and it was like she was thinking about coming up to me but just couldn’t do it. This seemed very strange to me. She usually wants nothing to do with me unless I have lettuce–and even then I just better hand over the lettuce and not speak about or make any sudden moves.

Tonight was a miracle! She came to me and stood at my feet, and when I reached to touch her, she stayed. So I picked her up! I had to make sure she wasn’t injured, but mostly it just felt like magic holding that wild, skittish, magnificent creature. It was like a wild animal gracing me with her presence.

She’s so, so beautiful! Those chocolate and white feathers are amazing!

When I got over my awe of her, I realized I had better health check her. She has NEVER had a single one since 2019. I couldn’t come near her without her running away, terrified, like I was a monster for sure. It’s always been kind of heartbreaking to me, but I have learned to love her on her terms and not mine. So this was the first time since 2019 I have touched her more than sneaking some light feet and feather touches this winter to see how blind she is.

I didn’t find anything wrong. Her feet felt fine. Her abdomen didn’t seem swollen. Her eyes looked good. I don’t know what happened tonight, but for a minute, I held a magical creature. I sure hope she’s okay.

When I sat her down, she ran toward the duck house but not as quickly as I thought she might. When the mud is gone, I am going to go sit in the grass and see if she will come see me and sit on me like the other ducks will in the summer. She never has. Wouldn’t it be the best ever if she did?